Everyone has heard of the short hand textspeak version of Jane Eyre by now- it has been reported on several times at bronteblog for instance and google news is full of nothing else (when it comes to Bronte news). However… why hasn’t anyone else caught this yet?
PlainOrfanJaneBcumsGuvunes”Thornfield. J&MrRochster(eventuly)Fal4EachOtha. Bt,DayOfWedin,ItTurnsOutHeAlredyHasAWyfInThAtikHuIsMad. MadWyfSetsFyr2Haus. YrsL8aJFyndsMrR-Blind&WidowdAftaFyr. TheyGetMaryd .
Jane returns about a year after she left Thornfield- not “years later” (for those who stumble over the elegance that is textspeak).
This took me awhile to find. It is the product of a form online which will turn any text into textspeak. (NB: ‘OMG’ = ‘oh my god’, ‘LOL’ = ‘Laughs out loud’, and ‘WTF’ = ‘what the f*ck’. Ye be warned!). I had tried to bury it in the deepest oblivion, but it survived somehow:
“DO U THINK I CAN STAY 2 BCOM3 NOTHNG 2 U?!????? OMG LOL DO U IM AN AU2MA2N-A??!!?? OMG WTF LOL MACHIEN WITHOUT FELNGS?!??!!!!? OMG WTF LOL AND CAN BAR2 HAEV MAH MORSEL OF BRAAD SNATCH3D FROM MAH LIPS AND MAH DROP OFLIVNG W8R DASHED FROM MAH CUP??!?? LOL DO U THINK B/C IM POROBSCURA PLANE AND LITLE IM SUL3S AND H3ARTLES?!?!??!! WTF LOL U THINKWRONG-I1!!1 OMG WTF HAEV AS MUCH SU AS U FUL AS MUCH HEART!!111111 OMG WTF LOL AND IFGOD HAD GIFTAD M3 WIT SOME BAUTY AND MUCH W3ALTH I SHUD HAEVMAED IT AS HARD FOR U 2 LAAEV MA AS IT IS NOW FOR M3 2 U1!!1!1 LOL IM NOT TOKNG 2 U NOW THROUGH DA MEDIUM OF CUS2MCONV3NTIONALITEIS NOR 3VEN OF MORTAL FL3SH-IT IS MAH SPIRIT TAHTADRASAS UR SPIRIT JUST AS IF BOTH HAD PASED THROUGH DA GRAEVAND WA S2D AT GODS FET EQUAL-AS WE AER!1!! WTF LOL”
*This was actually posted early this morning (about 1 AM) but for some strange reason it disrupted formatting on Bronteana.